Oohly Blog | Oohly

April 18, 2012 | | No Comments

The star of the much acclaimed soap opera, “Te Amo Alejandro,” and the obvious target of the affections of women across the world.

The show very much mirrors how he lives his life – dissing the ladies in every conceivable situation. When he’s not busy drinking or adjusting the height of his eyebrow, Alejandro indulges in his one true passion – finding the longest shoes available on the planet.

Rumor has it that he met Catalina during one of his footwear sojourns, and some say he promised her a role on the soap in exchange for a set of prized designer padded insoles. One prominent gossip columnist has gone so far as to suggest that Alejandro made his vast fortune by smuggling drugs inside his massive loafers, but most insiders feel it’s obvious he has no such massive fortune or he would cease pimping himself as a faux Latino Lover.

April 18, 2012 | | No Comments

She recently joined the cast of “Te Amo Alejandro” – some say only in exchange for providing a secret and odor eating footwear accessory for Alejandro. Her fans say she’s an obvious diva and will soon dominate the show. Catalina says she only does it for the free food.

Alejandro’s attorney has suggested the illicit contraband may have been hidden in her bee-hive hairstyle, as there is obviously no other reason a fashionable modern woman would have piled it on that high. The other leading ladies on the show said a few things about her, but we cannot print them.

Catalina’s agent was unavailable for comment – she has stopped taking our calls, and frankly, we think that’s just petty, and we said we’d certainly get the check out any day now… Anyway – wherever did she get that dress!?!

April 18, 2012 | | No Comments

Lately he has been a frequent extra in the soap “Te Amo Alejandro” and is just waiting for his big break, because he knows that he is a star! The question is… does anyone else know that? More to the point… does anyone know who this guy is and how he keeps getting in front of our cameras?

The Oohly Man takes every opportunity to show everybody how fabulous Oohly is, and clearly he will stop at nothing to identify an item on the set and get it to your front door in a heartbeat. Why people answer that doorbell is beyond us, but even we at Te Amo Alejandro will admit he looks good in shorts.

Recently, he deemed himself the “unofficial” mascot for Oohly (frequently referring to himself as the “The Oohly Man,” which our counsel advises is grounds for civil commitment in many jurisdictions) and has made it his personal mission to tell everybody about Oohly! Whether you feel like giving him your attention, or whether he feels like taking it hostage.

April 18, 2012 | | No Comments

Not a real “person” in the conventional sense, Miss American Dreamer is actually a living embodiment of a theoretical retail demographic. She is purportedly the average 25-35 year old avid female TV viewer and Internet retail consumer. Miss American Dreamer can spend hours looking around online to find that fantastic dress or those really cool shoes she saw on TV.

Obviously genetically engineered and raised in an abandoned sound stage to be a completely vacuous “viewsumer,” she is everything TV marketing executives could ever hope for. The male viewers want to see more of her, and are secretly hoping to get her phone number. If they got it, they would only complain about having to buy her dresses like the one featured in the advertisement.

Now that she has found her soul mate – Oohly – men are no longer a problem. Just by simply using the Oohly app while watching her favorite show (Te Amo Alejandro of course!) she can instantly find or even purchase what she sees on screen. Who needs a man!?!